Last child off to kindy and the world

my last child is approaching 4 at the end of the year  and soon its time for her to leave the comforts of home and begin her social life at pre school (kindy).. i have 2 adult children aswell so feel i have been parenting for most of my life  well i did have 4 daughters  and its soon coming to a final end .yeh i know at 4 years old  i still have alot of parenting to go .. but i wont be hearing the patter of tiny feet hovering around  during the day … or dragging a tired child shopping with me  for the rest of my life

like seriously  ill be totaly childless and doing my daily chores alone . no-one to ask for food or drink or toilet run or even the daily sounds of play school or  the wiggles on tv as back ground music to my ears … wow ill be thrusted  back into the adult world again that ive been  along time gone from …

so i hold my breath an await for october when she begins her new life partly without me anymore … so i better phone the kindy and organise to enroll her .. the phone is answered by leisle a familiar voice we chat  about last child to attend there just over a year and a half ago .. leisle gets the forms in her hand and informs me that my small baby can begin kindy in just 6 weeks time … my heart sank to the floor so fast as i fake an excited giggle over the phone .tears welling up in my eyes as i face the truth of pushing my child into the nasty world of society …. its a dog eat dog world out there …

ive had the luxury of raising my babies as a stay at home mother ive instilled all there likes loves and dislikes about the world themselves and others around them .. and i love who they are becoming as little humans .. but it all gets washed away when you throw them into the world of school and kindy .. there begins the battle of finding your place in society .. conforming to the (norm) being  the same as others . girls feel the need to be liked while boys battle with play fight to find there social standing amongst there peers and yes it does begin at 3

so while i battle a bully issue at school for my 6 year old .my child being the victim here and not coping as well as i would of hoped for . im about to send of my tiny last baby ill ever have into the bear cave ..

we dropped of ella at school speaking to the head master yet again about dealing with this half pint 6 year old bully .my daughter who happens to be 3 times  the bullies height  but continues to go weak in the knees when confronted by the said bully and  choses to not be assertive but wet her pants instead ongoing saga will  be sorted out eventually or we will simply change school as of next year .

we head to the kindy to go visit and pick up an enrollment form … the first face i see as we walk in is leisle the kindy is in session kids playing everywhere the place sounds calm and peaceful id put of going to collect the enrolment form for almost 2 weeks now but as  time is ticking it needs to be done … zuri is ever so eager to go talking about going to kindy for months now as we drive past it each day on our way to school for ella …

so i know that even zuri is ready herself to leave the nest and venture out into the world … she has great social skills and will approach any child for a conversation my only concern is she isnt fully toilet trained yet . but as she will only be attending kindy for 2 hours once a week i guess  it wil happen in due course anyway … as i grab her hand and leave the kindy again my eye well up in tears as the sounds the smells  and even a few of the teachers are still there .

i know all is going got be well for her BUT ITS ME IM WORRIED ABOUT …. im going to get empty ness syndrome i just know it … home alone with peace n quiet …. hell i dont even know what that is ..ive forgotten … i know im going to learn to embrace it and love it to eventually cherish the silence again … its just been such a long long time since ive felt it .

we get home as the post man drives of from putting something in the letter box … i go get the 2 letters one is addressed to zuri with pretty stickers all over the front ….. WHOLLY SHIT . its from the kindy ….

zuri receives her official invitation from the kindy . i let her open it up and she sees her name in big print .i leave her to hold it and look at for a few minutes .. then i take it  i see her name in bold writing .. and thats as far as ive gotten with it thus far … my eyes keep watering and i cant read it so ive put it down … ive attempted 2 times now to read it but i still cant do it … oh shit now im crying now just thinking about it ……

can someone tell me what it says cause i just cant read it lmao …….. ok i need to slap myself grow up and deal with this …..

but this is my last and final child to come from my womb …  do you realize how final this is about my life .. now  a new chapter is about to begin … well ok not yet, Right now its going to involve running around from school to kindy school to kindy lol things will actually get hectic for the next year and a half untill zuri is 5 and goes to school then ill have something to really cry over …..